I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
