Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
