SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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