the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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