I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
And then he peed in my hair
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