yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
