True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
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