Just mADE A PArabola og urine
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
