dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
