i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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