Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
