Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
