I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just forgot I was standing up.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
