he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
