I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
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Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
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those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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