So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
