and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
