I puked a lego.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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