At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I have tasted many bathrooms
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
