But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
