But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
