The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
wakey wakey hands off snakey
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
