sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
