Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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