before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
