I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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