We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
