So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
nutella sex= disaster
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
