Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
