That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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