Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
