She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
This is not my ceiling
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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