now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
