the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize