You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
