For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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