yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
