That's intense
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
