I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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