Duck Duck Cougar?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
