am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
