you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
