just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
