I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
