Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
