Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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