This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
