the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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