I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My life is pants optional.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
