i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
