So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I have fence marks all over my body
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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