Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
