He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
its liver damage thursday
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
