I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
