You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Text me some of your sweat
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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