I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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