okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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