garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
