The maid of honor just puked.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
This house was built for laser tag.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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