So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
