that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
