When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
