im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
