The maid of honor just puked.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
apparently the secret to your success is patron
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
