That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
